Dog Shit

I came across one of my favorite blogs I've posted in the past, and thought, why not re-post it for good laughs.




To the owner of the dog who took a shit outside my apartment building

All I have to say is Fack You for not picking up your dog's shit.


The dog park is literally half a mile away. You couldn't make your stupid dog wait? No. Instead, I step on your dog's steaming pile of shit right in front of my apartment.


Even after I took my shoe off, and left it outside my apartment, I could still smell your dog's shit all hovering around me like a toxic cloud.


Have you never had to clean dog shit out off of a pair of Nike running shoes before? Maybe you should take a look at how many ridiculous grooves there are in the soles.
[ check out looking for my sole-mate blog ;) ]

Meanwhile, I try to delicately rinse off your dog's shit in my bathroom sink, little bits of shit water splashing all over my jeans. I start gagging because I can taste the dog shit steam . No matter how careful I am, shit water runs over into the actual shoe, soaking right through.


Puking a little in my mouth, I run away, just to come back to my fucking roommates cat taking a drink of your dog's shit water in the sink.


You a-hole.


The worst of it all, is I just bought a brand new toothbrush. I haven't even used it for 3 days, and then I get to use it to clean out all of your dog's shit out of every single fucking groove of the soles.


Dog owners beware, the next time I see you NOT pick your dog's shit, I will be glad to pick it up for you.


You just don't want to know what I am gonna do with it.